I remember my wife often saying how exhausting it was for her to have to tell me what to do all the time. It’s why the sexiest thing a man can say to his partner is “I got this,” and then take care of whatever needs taken care of.
I always reasoned: “If you just tell me what you want me to do, I’ll gladly do it.”
But she didn’t want to be my mother. She wanted to be my partner, and she wanted me to apply all of my intelligence and learning capabilities to the logistics of managing our lives and household.
She wanted me to figure out all of the things that need done, and devise my own method of task management.
I wish I could remember what seemed so unreasonable to me about that at the time.
It’s not just about equal division of labor. It’s also about, “this thing is important to her. If he ignores it, he’s saying that what she wants is irrelevant to him.”
And that’s a guy saying, “I’m only spending time with you because it’s pleasant for me.” He’s already decided what’s “really” important, and her input is not welcome.
If he won’t do the dishes and laundry, he’s looking for fun, not a partnership. And his “leftist” ideals will be the same–something he studies because it’s interesting to him; a form of activism that he thinks will bring him a better life. If he can’t do household tasks that matter to a person he loves, he sure as hell can’t support policies that help people whose struggles he doesn’t even acknowledge are real.
Love when my cat flings himself into the air after a toy, but he has no style. Straight up ragdoll physics.
One day i want to take a video of Yardstick straight-up hurling himself into the void. Cats have no conception that there is a future. There is just now and the jingly toy.
you’ve heard of mom friends now get ready for: Anti-mom friend. they suggest every single impulsive thought that runs thru their head like “hey what if you jumped in that pond in the middle of the night” to the group while the mom friend begs them to stop
Hello! Recently, I was surprised by the amount of people who come into our askbox asking about how to start a QPP with someone. Usually, the answer is “I don’t know! It depends on the person.” But this might help those of you that are shy and are not sure where to start. It can also serve as an ice-breaker.
I tried to be as broad as possible on a tiny sheet on paper. Feel free to edit it, make changes, etc. 🙂 I have a higher-res PNG version if you need it. Just contact me! (chekhovandowl)